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If Your Eye Falls On A Bargain...**

Posted by Gordon on November 22, 2010 at 4:03 PM

I've always been told spell checkers are wonderful tools but they don't substitute for proof reading.

Here are some examples of how spell checking can send a story in new directions: (every one of these really has come across my desk)

  • He was being kept on a short leach. (Wasn't that in the second Star Trek movie?)
  • The crowd disbursed. (As high-ranking government officials, the first order of business was to give away money.)
  •  She could not bare it any more. (An exotic dancer decides she needs a new line of work.)
  •  Steven placed his cup on the mantle. (Who needs a thermos cup when you've got molten lava to keep the coffee hot?)
  • At times he loved her; at other times he wanted to slit her juggler vein! (Well that will put an end to HER circus career.)

News Headlines:

  • Basting accident sends two to hospital. (Thanksgiving dinner will never be the same.)
  • HazMat team removing condiments from building after mysterious fire. (That would be the really, really hot sauce.)
  • New sceptic system will improve water quality. (I remain doubtful on this one)
  • Bridge remains clothed after heavy rains. ( I hope that would include a good raincoat.)


**my title is taken from the work of Leo Calvin Rosten, whose phonetic renderings of English, as spoken by recent immigrants, would bring any modern spell checker to its knees, metal fork ably spay king.

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